Divorce rates are going through the roof. It’s a sad fact of life these days – marriage is no longer forever. The amount of marriages that end in the courtrooms is really high now. If you feel like your marriage is in the doldrums and you’re heading towards the divorce courts then don’t despair. There are things you can do to put yourself back on track. You just need to take a step back from it all, get some perspective, and be a little kinder to each other. A relationship that is not functioning properly can bring the worst out in everyone – and then it becomes a downwards spiral as you both become more and more horrible to each other.
Here are some ideas to help you and your partner fix things before you reach the point of no return:
Many marriages break down purely because the communication does. How on earth can you be in a partnership if you don’t talk? Would a business partnership work without regular meetings to check-in and catch up? Of course, it wouldn’t. People need to talk to understand each other’s points of view. But it can be tricky to open lines of communications that have been closed for so long.
Start by finding a neutral place to go – don’t discuss things in your home as it will just lead to domestic issues being spoken about. You need to get to the nitty-gritty. It’s best to go for a walk – conversations happen far more naturally when you are not staring each other directly in the eye.
A great thing to get you both talking is a little nostalgia. Go to a place you both know well – perhaps you met there or you had your first kiss there. This will bring up positive, happy memories and will prompt the question ‘where did it all go wrong?’. Keep it constructive, diplomatic and try not to take things too personally.
Once you’re talking it’s time to make some changes. Whatever they are, agree to them so both parties completely understand what they are agreeing to. Write it down if necessary. Make them reasonable and achievable on both parts – if you set new expectations that are too high you will both just be disappointed.
You need to lighten the mood. Remember when you were courting (before kids!) – what did you do? Go out and have a drink together, watch a funny film, whatever it takes to get you smiling at each other. Break the monotony of everyday life by having some FUN together!
So perhaps you don’t need to sit back and watch your marriage hit the skids after all? All it takes is a little thought, a few changes of habits and you can get back on the road to recovery. Every relationship takes hard work and commitment to see it through. Works at being each other’s best friend – you both need one. Take care of each other and show your partner you still love them.
Hopefully, we won’t see you in court!
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- License: Creative Commons image source
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